As I prepare to welcome my very first student teacher into my classroom, I am reflecting on my experience thus far as a teacher. What I wouldn't give to have advice from the future. Who's with me? If you're a new teacher or getting ready to start your career, please know you're not alone in what you might be feeling and/or thinking. We've all been there. Here are the letters I would write to myself each year after graduation:
Dear 2011 Christina,
I know you're excited and anxious to begin your teaching career. This is all you've ever wanted since you were a little girl. You've just finished your student teaching and you think you're ready for what's to come. I'm here to say there is NOTHING that can prepare you for this job. Not a thing. Not even this letter. Grab a glass of wine. Who am I kidding? Grab a bottle. You're going to need it.
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Dear 2012 Christina,
You've survived your first year out of college. How was that? Being an adult is hard. I know this job at the pre-school wasn't the gig you were hoping for. Heck, it was the exact opposite of what you had dreamed of. No teacher wants to work in a building where you aren't allowed to use your creativity and bring in new ideas. Cookie-cutter projects are for the birds. Don't give up. Don't lose hope. Better things are coming.
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Dear 2013 Christina,
Ok, so you didn't get a full-time job. I know it wasn't ideal. Let's look at the positives. You spent half of the year as a regular substitute in one building. A nice building at that! You made some wonderful friends. You gained the trust of some great teachers. It was pretty awesome getting hired for the second semester. I know you appreciate the time and words of wisdom from the reading specialist there, but you don't even know how lucky you are yet to have had this experience with her. She will actually be the best reading specialist you will work with (as far as I know) and you'll realize just how much she taught you when you get your first real job. I know you're frustrated that you didn't get the job you were offered. Things in our school division really suck right now. People are being sent back into the classroom and you're just out of luck here. I want you to know that even though this sucks you WILL really appreciate this time.
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Dear 2014 Christina,
What a year! You started off as a long-term substitute with a great class, supportive administration, and helpful grade level. Really. It doesn't get much better than that. Your wonderful principal helped you get a full-time job for the rest of the year. God bless that man! You think he's great now, but just wait. He'll continue to be so important to you and your career.
You survived your first teaching job in Kindergarten. I know this isn't where you're meant to be, but you did it. It was a HELLUVA experience. You found some sweet friends, but you didn't have much support. Ok. You didn't have any support at all. Your class was awful and I know you don't want to ever teach again. [Yes, reader. It was THAT bad.] No decent administrator would ever put a first year teacher in the situation you were put in. Your T.A. was your saving grace and you know you'll never be able to thank her enough for not quitting on you. You arrived before school started and stayed WELL beyond your contractual time. I know you're exhausted from leaving school at 9:00 with the janitors. Showing up at 8:00 the next morning never got easier. Once again, PLEASE know that it WILL get better.
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Dear 2015 Christina,
Let's reflect. Last year you survived (barely) your first year teaching. After never wanting to teach again, you landed a job teaching 2nd grade in a MUCH better place. That amazing principal you worked for last year helped you find a job... again. I told you he'd be important later, but he's not done yet. :)
You were blessed with kind administrators, a sweet class, and an AMAZING team. The people you met here were amazing. That's why leaving involuntarily is so heart-breaking. I know you feel like you can't find a home. I know you want SO BADLY to just get settled. I know you feel like you just can't win. Ugh. Even from the future this is so sad to write because I remember how awful this time was. You know you deserve to find your happy place and you're not ready to start over. This is different from last year. Last year you were beyond ready to find a new home. It hurts even more knowing how much your sweet friends here want you to stay. Would it make you feel better to know you don't lose touch with these amazing people?
You're getting ready to start teaching 3rd grade in a new school. Moving grade levels again sucks, but it will be okay. You really need to thank that sweet principal you worked for in 2014 because he has now helped you get 3 new teaching jobs. He's a saint.
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Fast forward to now, November 2016.
Since 2011 I have worked in 6 different schools, 1 private and 5 public. I have taught Kindergarten, second, and third grades. I have worked for 12 different administrators. I have been dismissed, overlooked, and under appreciated. I wasn't given a chance when that's all I needed to get started. The Lord put some amazing people in my path that helped me along the way and I couldn't be more grateful.
Being a new teacher is hard. Everyone knows this. All you need is some guidance and experience, but some administrators aren't even willing to give you that. I get it now. It's hard to trust a new teacher when you're stressed about state testing scores and other ridiculous expectations today's education system has. Don't lose your hope. You WILL find a job. It may not be perfect. Heck, it may be absolutely dreadful. If you're meant to teach, you will and you'll find happiness. Don't count on perfection.
Reflecting on my first few years after college makes me feel so thankful for the journey. It was not easy at all. In fact, there were a lot of days that I just cried my eyes out and asked why I couldn't be given a chance. However, I've been teaching for four years now in my division and I'm already receiving a student teacher. I feel incredibly honored to be trusted with a future teacher and hope she learns something from me to help her feel ready to take on this crazy job.
"I love the person I've become, because I fought to become her." -Kaci Diane
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